Sometimes, the person on the phone thinks you’re s…
3415 days agoSometimes, the person on the phone thinks you’re somebody else:
Me: Hello?Caller: So, what happened?
Me: I just took a pee. It was awesome.
Caller: Um, sorry. Is Matt there?
This never happened when I was living with Carissa. On the other hand, the toaster did catch fire. Now we have no toaster. The fire extinguisher is above the toaster on our shopping list, since I have now lived in two places and worked in one that had fires caused by toasters. The bagel shop back in lexington used to have it toaster catch fire about once every ten days; when it did, we had to turn it off for several hours. This led to a lot of irate customers:
Customer: Garlic bagel, toasted with smoked salmon cream cheese.Me: I’m sorry, we can’t toast your bagel. (Under breath: Also, that’s disgusting anyway.)
Customer: Why not?
Me: The toaster caught on fire. It is having a time out.
Customer: That’s ridiculous.
Me: There is a Brueggers down the street. (Under breath: Asshole)
Anyway, the likelihood of incurring toaster-related fire damage to my current apartment remains low, so long as I don’t have a toaster. How true that is.
