inauspicio.us

Now that “Do Black Patent Leather Shoes Really Reflect Up?” (1982 Tony Award winner, Longest Running Title) has closed I can begin to comment on the absolute train wreck of lyric composition that made it up. Consider the following actual lyrics from songs in the show:

I must be in love – she gave me a “hello”
A major league star can afford to be mellow
This, I need hardly point out, rivals Steve Miller’s liberal interpretation of the word “rhyme” in Take the Money and Run, where he attempts to rhyme “Texas”,”taxes”,”facts is”, and “justice”. In fairness to Mr. Miller, although his lyrics do not rhyme, they at least make sense. “She gave me a hello”? What the hell?

[Fr. O'Reilly]When you’re in a jam, they’ll get you off of the hook
[Eddie] Oh, I’m always off the hook, father
Seriously, who comes up with this stuff? I won’t nominate the show for worst musical trainwreck in history (no contest, see the Sheldon Harnick and Joe Raposo’s musical interpretation of “It’s a Wonderful Life”), but sheesh.

The show in fact had many redeeming qualities – my buddy Joel was a faithful representation of Eddie Ryan, and it was great to be back at the theatre. That said, I think I speak for everyone involved when I quote the following actual lyric: Thank God, it’s a song that won’t be sung again.