OK, I haven’t been a total slouch

How many boards would the Mongols hoard, if the Mongol horde got bored?

feeling insecure, ten days out

You could be forgiven for thinking (or hoping) that I had given up on the pointless aerobic navel-gazing that has characterized these pages for some time now. The respite could never last.

High volume and higher intensity training has seen an across-the-board improvement in my running paces of about 30 seconds per mile since February. My tempo runs are comfortably below six minutes per mile and easy runs are under seven. I’ve had to add distance onto all of my runs to get the correct time in. Similarly, my bike power is up noticeably (although not measurably, since I don’t have anything accurate with which to measure it) and I have finally begun to lose some of my holiday pudge.

Which should be a huge confidence boost. Instead, I am having my annual pre-first race of the season freak out. I’m going to powerman ohio the weekend after next to race in a 5 mile/35 mile/5 mile duathlon. It’s held on a race car track, which should be fascinating; it’s my first short-course race as a pro, which is terrifying. The specifically frightening thing, for me, is that a similar race last weekend saw the pro men take the first run at 5 minutes a mile. That’s 5k pace for me. Or it was, anyway, the last time I ran a 5k, which was in 2000. In theory, in some universe, I should be able to keep up with them now. But the fact that I’ve never run that fast makes me uncertain of my ability to do so.

I know that that’s the reason we have races; you train and train and train and after a while, the training starts to seem like an end in itself. One workout sets up another, and you track minute levels of detail for the tiniest thread of improvement. You learn to become overjoyed with improvements that could be down to weather or footing; perceived, subjective improvements, and you fool yourself into thinking you’re getting a lot fitter. Or maybe, just maybe, you are getting a lot fitter. You drag yourself out to a race in an unfamiliar environment. Put your toe and a big chunk of your self-worth on the line and see how you’re doing. It’s a test of every energy system, every facet of your preparation.

Nerve-wracking. But don’t worry, I’ll keep you posted, whether you like it or not.