Closing out the summer by being an idiot, again

It’s not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on.

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Back in April, when I was sick all the time and having a huge stress-out, I had to schedule two races inappropriately close together. The fact that they were so close together actually made me feel better; it reinforced the idea that I can only control so much, and the best I can do is the best I can. Nothing magic will happen by following The Perfect Schedule, and there will always be things that could go more smoothly or that I could have done to prepare. But you can’t do everything, and you must have confidence in what you could do.

So with two half ironman races approaching in the next two weekends for me, I am again having a huge stress-out. I don’t have confidence that I can place well in either one, let alone both. Actually, I believe I can, but believing that it’s possible is not the same as being certain that it will happen. I cannot control times or places, how fast other people go, or weather. But I know certain things: I am absolutely capable of swimming hard for half an hour. There is no doubt whatsoever that I can ride my bike hard for two and a half hours. I am totally certain that I can run hard for an hour and a half. These are things that are up to me, and I can always do them. Working hard does not always equal going fast, but that’s not under my control.

Beyond that, it doesn’t matter. I will go out and run my race and whatever everyone else does is up to them. I will be controlling what I can control and going as fast as I can. It worked in April, May, June, and July. It’s going to work in August too.

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